Confusion with a lot of some pain isn't the greatest feeling in the world

lol just a  random thought
if there were really a pill that could wipe all bad feelings and memories clean, I'd gladly take it

But again I think there would usually be a condition that comes with it? Like ummm. If you take it ALL your memories will be wiped clean. Or something like that. And you'll end up sadder because you can't remember a single thing from your life

Awwwww damn. Now that's really sad.

I guess the way to go is to live with it? Time will pass and what hurts at the moment will feel like nothing in time to come.

Once read this somewhere: "You don't stop loving someone, you simply learn to live without them."

Not saying that it's in any way relevant (maybe half of it. lol) But it's very inspiring (????? vocab bank running dry nowadays another thing I'm so sad about) because I feel pretty empowered when I read it? Probably why I could still remember it after so long (I can forget about things that I've said 3 seconds ago. Go figure) It's a little like, yeah, I'm going out to be my Miss Independent. That kinda feeling.

Most days when I'm not caught up in mind-numbing revision I just wish I could go back to those times when I didn't have to care about anything other than getting my hands on yet another Jacqueline Wilson novel (favourite childhood author EVER.) And ok, maybe I don't have to go waaaaaaaay back to those carefree primary school days. Maybe just. Those days when my heart didn't feel so empty half the time. (It's ironic. How's it possible that your heart could still feel so empty while it's being occupied??? *cue wrist-slitting music* )

Plus it's annoying when you start spending every spare moment you have wondering about things. It's like I've stopped giving myself love, stopped being productively idle with myself

Anyway, you could say that I really miss being me. Being with myself

Just gonna end this extremely pointless post with yet another something that I've read somewhere (sorta gathering dust in the dark recesses of my mind sooooo) : "Love yourself, you are all you've got."

So darn true