Aaaaa I have no idea how to begin-

Today was fabulous like a cupcake with cherry and icing on top I mean, a new wardrobe!!! Lol. I realised that I don't really find cupcakes fabulous. So here goes.

Thanks for today~ Making up for lost times, indeed. But it was like nothing ever changed. As though secondary school just happened yesterday. As though we were still fully decked out in white, laughing our way to the school gate-

So glad that I managed to drag my lazy bum out of the house to meet you :) Just. Thank you.

Have a great week ahead everyone xx

那天和你傻笑着认识 是最幸福的事

Because it was my first day of my first ever job I thought it deserves a proper post. So here goes.

After work- was reminded so much of that day, also the very first day, two years back. Smiles, hellos exchanged, acknowledgement that we do have some mutual friends- some random chatter about humanities and how hard it was to score (???), where we lived (I got the direction all wrong, ha ha ha), how I've heard of you since a long time ago (more laughter).

Regretfully, after that fateful day, everything else was a blank
Couldn't really remember what really happened
Until perhaps early last year when you finally made me remember that you! actually! exist!

But now I have to (try very hard to) forget your existence again

Fast forward to present day- life goes on. I am complaining about work already. Feeling the kind of fear (of screwing up/ embarrassing myself) that I know all too well. Feeling incompetent. But still alive.

It's Friday tomorrow! Have a great weekend xx

Newest cover I did last evening~ I promise I will get a mic soon. LOL like seriously.

That's it for now

Dramatic and unexpected turn of events

1. Never try to be a prophet
2. You ain't no angel, you never had two glowing haloes above your head

Good night/morning :)

So I've decided that pointless posts are no longer the way to go. Hence I shall try something slightly different today (and hopefully it'll be interesting lol lol lol!!)

Anyway, relentless slacking at home has prompted me to, well, do something more constructive with my life, apart from battling annoying people on Carousell. After flopping and flailing around for a bit I found myself on YouTube.. and PROCRASTINATING QUEEN STRIKES ONCE MORE. The original plan was to find a movie and watch the movie like a good girl (without fiddling with my phone in the middle of it) but um. I sort of started listening to my playlists and drowning in the misery of it (happily) (sorry I couldn't help myself)

ANYWAY 1000000001 YEARS LATER, I FINALLY GOT MYSELF TO SIT DOWN TO WATCH THIS MOVIE THAT WAS DEEMED THE MOST TOUCHING MOVIE OF 2014 (IF I REMEMBER IT CORRECTLY)

(hang on let me find it)

omg I can't find it anymore??!??!

Anyway here's the trailer:



Basically it's about this divorced couple who lost their toddler to a kidnapper guy (who, strangely enough, brought up the toddler like his own. But that's besides the point), found the toddler years later (who really was no longer a toddler by then), only to realise that their joy would turn out to be rather short-lived. Because having their son back had too many implications and involved too many- the woman (Mr. Kidnapper's wife, starring Vicky Zhao) who brought up their son believing that he was abandoned, and whom their son called "妈妈"; the baby sis who couldn't be separated from 哥哥; that irritable old guy who was the head of the state-governed (???) orphanage;
Anyway, the whole thing was either hurting or annoying people who were somehow or another involved-
Oh no this is going off-tangent again
ALRIGHT I will put my thoughts in point form, perhaps what I want to say can be conveyed in a clearer and more organized manner-

Takeaways From The Movie (I feel like I'm back in primary writing a composition):
-anguish
-very real, and shocking realisation that there are, indeed, many different permutations of anguish in this world; and what I may have felt/am feeling/will feel is probably close to nothing as compared to that of the poor parents in the movie
-No matter what the law dictates, how humane is it to take the children away from the poor woman (Vicky Zhao's character), who depended on her children for mental courage as much as a pirouetting ballerina depended on a focal point (on the wall)?
-everybody hurts (so clichéd, but so true)

That's about it for now. Oh and if I didn't bore you to death already, the movie is called 《亲爱的》
Probably not your thing if you're only a sucker for romance though.

There's no one else like you- indeed, because everyone is unique

"won't work out anyway"-yep, because the most perfect plan could go horribly wrong even at the last minute, second, millisecond

How'd know when you'd never tried-some things are better left unknown (..untried?)

Here. Sensible, rational responses to every inch of doubt.

[p.s. the river bank at Raffles Place actually looks like a rather awesome place to chill. Will go there alone someday]

Still tears me apart sometimes
Counting down to happier days

Pain in my subconscious state 

As acute as ever, if not more 

Something I've been meaning to say for the past week, but didn't-
SCREW YOU ADULT FARE

Today's been... eventful? I suppose. Thankful for the laughter, company, everything

It felt like a trip down memory lane (even tho jc didn't happen too long ago. Hahaha. Nope.)

Same bus, rainy day, alone, same feels, same thoughts,
Maybe not, since things are clearly different now

Hiding a love

Or hiding a lie 

/random thoughts

I always liked long bus rides (not train rides thank you very much. Too cramped and well-lit to think properly) because I could just curl up in my corner and relish in whatever misery I could cook up (plugged in to my music of course). It's the best feeling in the world. Nobody can, or will bother you. You're just left to your own thoughts. Really appreciate that kind of quiet and calm haha.

(Which is also why I don't give a second thought about being hostile to unwanted company on the bus)

(haha)

(please take note of the underlined word in bold!!!!)

I only relished in the misery because it was my last possible connection with you, if ever. And now that (actually it's been quite a while) even my body has decided that it's sick of the misery, and that it misses having an appetite, I'm really feeling a little upset.
Occasionally emptiness sets in
I hate to admit this, but the initial misery really felt good

Thank you for showing up in my dream last night

On hindsight, the occurrence was strange because I never knew you personally... but you said that you recognised me. And you gave me a hug, saying that you are alright now. Even joked about how everyone is saying that they will never see you again. In that dream I wasn't freaked at all. I was so relieved to see you (again).

I believe you are in a better place now, cliche as it sounds (and it indeed is).

Funny how I could remember the details of the dream so clearly
At least I did not wake up in tears this time round :)

於是, 一瞬間便成了永遠

你們好幸福 :)