Finally got myself to do Blogilates again after what felt like a million years (probably about half a year- not sure) and I was just thinking to myself, perhaps what somebody told me before was right- you may not need a better man, but you deserve a better self. Time to treat yourself right before anyone else can. :)

Also a bunch of people came over today, and once again I was overwhelmed by the rapid passing of time. I used to think that CNY gatherings are strange & awkward because technically, you're having a bunch of people whom you have not seen for a year or more over at your place, all of them incredibly interested in what you're up to recently- it just came across to me as unnatural and, well, plain awkward. However this year I am actually glad that the gathering happened, because today I was aware of how my 姑姑s are getting on their years (they had some trouble with remembering my name, bless them, but a name is just a name, no biggie) and there is just this lingering regret that I haven't been spending enough time with them & doing enough (or anything at all) to let them know that they are actually my favourite part of the extended family (sorry peeps).

Perhaps it's high time to stop whatever "inner turmoil" that is eating me up from the inside and start to pay more attention to people who actually love and care about me

It's easy to order myself to do so (have done it countless times already), but to actually go about doing it is 1000000000x harder 

I try, I try

I always do